The Girl

A girl I know is always doubting herself and her way of life. Always complaining about not being able to live the good life. What she didn't realize is that she already was living the good life, before she messed it up. For some reason she just wanted more, never caring about anyone else's feeling just pushing through, hurting people along the way. Personally I really do not think that she cares for anyone but herself. Always carrying on about not having enough material things. She smokes, she drinks, she is wild, almost like a caged animal. Her family members always are trying to help her get on track but she doesn't listen. She keeps on and on using men using herself. She tells me that she dreams to be something great like a Philosopher. She trips me out, walking around thinking that especially when she is not living her life in a good way. I see her always using her good looks to get men to do stuff for her. It disgusts me to the max, why would she do this to herself. She is an intelligent, beautiful, witty, and resourceful person. We talk and she always lies to me this I can tell. Tries to pretend that she does not do those types of things. She screams, What are you talking about that's not me you got me all wrong.

This girl she is a good person, why does she keep doing this, I don't understand. Everywhere she goes she burns bridges with people. Borrowing money and never paying it back. Drinking and smoking like it's going out of style. Cussing like a sailor, fighting like a man. Always cursing I don't know why, it is so unattractive. I want to help her but she tells me she doesn't need help. She tells me to mind my own blanking business. It upsets me so to the point I have cried. Her mouth is so hateful and mean, I stay close by her because she needs help. She turns sixteen and decides to have a relationship with an older man. She has no where else to go her parents don't want her around. I tell her to hang in there she will be alright and things did start to turn around for her. She had her own apartment but lived with this older man. He seemed nice enough and he worked but I guess looks can be deceiving. Months in the relationship she starts back into her old ways again. I keep telling her it would be best if she just left him and tried to do things by herself. Of course she did not want or care for my opinion. She stays with this guy and he ends up beating her up really bad, almost to the point of death. Finally she lets him go and he is arrested and she is now left on the streets. I see her from time to time panhandling and I tell her she does not need to do that and we need to call her father. At this point I'm angry that nobody in her family wants to try to help her out, even if it's just for a meal. So her father has sympathy and comes to pick the girl up. He is angry with her he exclaims, why didn't you tell me all this was happening to you. She doesn't have an answer to give him. I think she was looking for more than being ridiculed and yelled at . I tell her not to worry about it suck it up and accept the help, everything will work out.

So she is doing pretty good got herself a job and isn't with any guys. She still drinks though I think at this point she might be addicted or something because she seems to not be able to put the bottle down. Making a fool of herself every time she drinks it's so embarrassing to be around her sometimes. Two years go by and she is turning eighteen, she meets a nice guy not all the others she was prone to dating. He is into the church and is a saved christian, I was so happy for her. At this point she is making good money, and is renting a nice home with her brother and best friend. Things were really looking good for her, I was proud. Then one day she just stops drinking altogether to my surprise, she tells me she is pregnant. Her whole face lit up when talking about the pregnancy. She says she is scared though because she thinks that her boyfriend will leave her. I tell her she needs to tell him because sooner or later he is going to find out. I was happy for her too but I knew this was going to be a hard road for her. Caring for a baby was not an easy task especially for a teenager. She tells her boyfriend about the pregnancy and he was really excited, he is hoping to have a boy. Weeks go by, she goes to the appointments for her pregnancy and she finally gets to hear the heartbeat of her unborn child. Her boyfriend was supposed to take her that day but he never showed up. It was okay though because we walked there together and I kept her company so she wasn't so sad.

A couple of months go by and she is starting to show now and she looked great. She tells me that she has not heard from her boyfriend in about a month now and she calls but he doesn't want to talk to her. I feel so angry at him for leaving her especially when she is pregnant. I tell her not to be upset because I am here for her and the baby she doesn't need to worry. Her job found out that she was pregnant and they fired her, she lost her housing and everyone left her behind. We find out her me mom has moved back from New Jersey, and we both are excited because we have not seen her since she took us to the clinic for the pregnancy test. The girl calls her mom and asks if she can stay with her because she has lost the home she was living in and has no where to go. She is very depressed because the father of the baby isn't there in her life. Her mother ensures her that everything will be okay and to pack her stuff up and get ready to move to her house. So we move everything that we could and left what we could behind. Weeks go by and it was almost time for the baby to be born. The girl hears from her ex boyfriend and he thinks it would be a good idea if he is with her in the hospital. She is still angry because he had left her behind, but she tells him to come anyways. Once her son is born she is so excited she has never felt love like this before and everything else that has happened to her in the past seemed to melt away. She finally found the love she had been looking for, her son.

The ex boyfriend says to her it would probably be a good idea if she moves in with him after an argument she ends up having with her mother doesn't go so well. She declines and moves in with her father he is happy to have her and the baby there with him. Well she and the ex boyfriend start to date again but she has fell back into her old ways again. She moves in with the boyfriend and things go way down hill. They argue all of the time and can never agree on anything. Her drinking starts to become out of hand again and they finally call it quits. She moves back to her mom's house and asks for help finally. The girl goes and gets help she is good and all it well later on in life she goes through ups and downs. She finally has found peace and her life is so much better. Now she is thirty and is a mom for the second time and is doing very well for herself. This story was about me and the person that always followed me was my conscience. A constant friend that stood by my side no matter what happened. Lesson to this is we all go through terrible things in our lives but at the end of the day we only have ourselves. I am happy to be sober and clean my kids got me there and I pushed to be a better person for me.

Thanks for reading my mini book lol,

Sincerely,

The Sleepless Mommie

Sex! Doing The Nasty

I think we all can agree that at some point in time if you are a parent,  children can drive you insane. Especially when you have a million and one things to do in a days time. Juggling back and forth between work and kids can be extremely stressful to say the least. It always seems like when you are in the middle of doing something important they just happen to bust in on you and this can be very embarrassing. Yes folks I am talking about sex…. what happens after your kid walks in on you and your partner doing the nasty( as my kids call it).  Most parents are not even ready for the sex talk yet and even if they were old enough how in the world do you explain what just happened. Just as embarrassing as it is for your kid to see your butt/ or legs half up in the air, it’s just as embarrassing for them. Up until this point your kids have always imagined a big white stork coming to the door to drop of babies, they have no clue as to how they even came into existence. First thing is not to freak out because this can signal to the child that what you are doing is wrong and we don’t want to send those types of messages. Sex is a perfectly natural thing shared by someone special and just face it sooner or later they will be doing it too. A touchy subject for a parent because no parent really wants to accept the fact that their child could be capable of having sex.

When your kids are young like between the ages of one and seven its easy to just play it off. Oh, I caught mommy and daddy wrestling in the bed, the usual response a child would give at that age. If your child is older than eight years old chances are they have heard about sex from another kid. This day and age sex is more wide open than it used to be twenty years ago. Television is a great way to thank for your child being exposed to sex. Between suggestive commercials and music teaching your little girl how to drop it like it’s hot. It’s inevitable and they know more than you think they do. There are million of different books to read on it, articles, videos to watch. Honestly those things could get you started but those different types of information can not really prepare you for “your” child. That’s right! your kid is different, not every kid is the same so therefore not every kid thinks alike. So those materials can be building blocks to start the sex conversation. It’s still up to you to put your own spin on it because you know your kid better than any book/video/article can tell you. Just think back to when you were a child, when was the first time you came across the sex word. Where were you? who were you with? What was happening at the time? Just think about that and already know that your child, more than likely needs your advice. Most of us when we were younger never had the sex talk with our parents, and if we did it did not last long, and it did not make a bit of sense. Nothing like getting bad information to make you want to go out there in the world and try it out for yourself. A lot of parents don’t seem to understand that the best thing you could ever do for your child is give them the correct information.

Never ever leave your child with something to wonder, always be honest and never make up stories. The worse thing you could do as a parent is ignore or push aside the issue especially if your child is curious about sex and has questions please answer them and do it truthfully. Lying/Ignoring will only cause your child to go out and get pregnant at the age of twelve. People are always wondering why young girls go out and have sex at the age of ten, it’s because their parents never explained to them the facts about sex the truth the knit and gritty truth of it all. A truth that us, as parents are just going to have to face up too. Leaving a child to wonder about things can turn into a disastrous situation for you both. A situation you can avoided just by being there for them.

I have been walked in on doing the nasty once and that’s all it took for there to be awkwardness between me and my oldest son. I am sure no boy wants to in vision their parents having sex together, let alone their mom/ or dad having sex with a man/ or woman other than their father/or mother. Lets face it not all of us are married and we do have relations with others if we are single. It can be awkward but if you just talk with them not right away but wait a day or two let things die down and sit down and ask, what do you know about the word sex. Listen to what they have to say. Ask if they have any questions, ask what have they always wanted to know about it. Chances are you can turn awkward situation into a positive one. Kids are full of questions some are more open to asking than others. Sometimes you just have to let them know you are just as nervous about the subject as they are. Emphasize that sex is not a bad thing it’s not a dirty word and that it is perfectly normal for everyone to have thoughts about it. Express the importance of protection and being safe from diseases. Be there for them not against them, children tend to rebel if they are always told not to do something. By that I don’t mean, go tell them to go out and have sex, wrong! Just let them know that when the time is right for them, when they are older to explore sex to do it because they feel ready, not because they are being pressured into it. Make sure that they understand that you are there for them no matter what and that they can always trust you with anything when it comes to talking about sex. Some kids don’t want to hear about it right at this moment. That’s okay just take baby steps with them, but always make sure that they know that you are more than ready to talk about sex with them. I guarantee when they are ready to talk about it they will come to you, instead of run away from you. I wish my mother and father had talked to me about sex when I was a teenager even before I became a teenager, would have been nice.

I felt so alone to the fact and got pressured into losing my virginity instead of making the choice for myself, I allowed another individual to make it for me. Once it’s gone, it’s over with. I felt dirty and wished that I had saved myself for the right person. I had no education about it and my mom’s way of talking about was just handing me a condom. I can’t really be mad at her for not talking to me about because she grew up in the era where nobody spoke about sex and it was taboo to do so. My father was really never there in my life and when I did see him, I was always afraid to ask him for fear that he would think I was a slut just by asking. Now that I have kids I am making sure that we have the talk. Not once but a couple of times, I want them to be able to not feel afraid or ashamed of the topic and when they get older, to be able to make the right choices for themselves. That’s all for today friends thanks for reading and before you go check out this video by: Jimmy Kimmel asking kids about boys & girls  it’s pretty funny the stuff kids come up with.

Sincerely,

The Sleepless Mommie                                :   Video for enjoyment down below lol :)   :