Bullying

I have been reading a lot lately about children in schools bullying other children.  All parents at some  point , sort of fear that their child could be the victim of this terrible act of hatred. I know I have had this fear with my oldest son Ethan ever since he started school. I think because the media fill my head with terrible stories, that were true stories of children ostracizing others. Which is not cool at all,  unfortunately bully leads to very terrible outcomes. Example: A child getting bullied so much decides he does not want to take it anymore , and ends up killing others because of the years of torment someone inflicted on him/her. Very scary indeed to think that your child may be a victim of this act. Mine and a lot of other parents questions are what to do if you think something like this is going on. where do you turn when your child is to scared to even get on the school bus? First you must always pay close attention to how you child is acting, does the child seem different, depressed or had low self-esteem. Does your child lash out in anger for no reason, was your child an outgoing kid and now they seem introverted. All these things need to be taking very seriously because if they are not being bullied it could be something else that needs to be addressed immediately. I am going to share with you a personal story about my eldest son Ethan.

My son Ethan is now eleven years old and quite large for his age. He started the fifth grade last year and he seemed okay at first when the school year started. As time went on I started to noticed, this kid who used to be very out going, all of a sudden shutdown. I immediately threw up a red flag, something was just not right. He was the type of kid who loved to talk to anybody and everybody. So I went to the school to find out what the problem could be. They really didn’t seem to interested and basically brushed me off. Me being me, I wrote a letter to the superintendent of our school system and complained. With all these commercials about anti bullying and websites about “stop the bullying in schools”, seemed to me like my son’s school did not get the memo. In turn this woke up some people in my community and all of a sudden everyone wanted to help find out what was wrong with Ethan. ( I bet they did, after thinking about losing their jobs).  All year I had been trying to set up an appointment to meet with his teachers and I kept getting the cold shoulder. Magically I started receiving phone calls that I had never gotten returned, about having a parent teacher conference. So instead of  replying back I drove over to the school myself before Ethan got on the bus. I went straight to the principal’s office and started to explain everything to her. Being that I had been ignored all year by the teachers and had already went to the superintendent. I explained to the principal that I would like for her to attend this meeting with me and have my son there with all his teachers so that we could get to the bottom of this. She agreed that would be the best thing to do.

We all sat down and tried to talk with him to figure out what was going on. He had stop paying attention in class, stopped bringing home homework, and was barely talking to anyone. So we all decided that we would set him up with a psychiatrist and see if she could find out what was wrong because he wouldn’t tell any of us anything. So yet again weeks go by and I hear nothing from this doctor, I was starting to get angry. It was so unbelievable as to why everyone was slacking off so much when obviously this kid need some help. Needless to say he never saw the woman and I had to end up making an appointment with an outside resource. Unfortunately because Ethan did not complete work in class and hardly ever turned in homework, because he hid it or exclaimed he left it. They made me sign a paper for him to repeat the fifth grade. So here we go again another year and now all of a sudden the doctor the school set Ethan up with now wants a meeting. I am like are you freaking kidding me, he has a doctor already don’t worry about it. I was upset at this point but decided since we still never got to the root of the problem to go ahead and let him see her too. He is having his issue slowly worked out, since he has seen these two doctors his grades have drastically changed for the better. She did find out that he did have an issue with a particular student, that picked on him here and there. So, they have it handled now for the most part (the boy has since stopped picking on Ethan). The strange part is the student they were talking about was a boy who Ethan always claimed to be his best friend.

The moral of this story is parents, if you see your child struggling, changing in a way that doesn’t seem right to you, please do not let it go. I could have given up several times and said you know what this is just too hard, I don’t feel like dealing with the school. Oh because the teachers ignored me, then nothing must be wrong with my child. Excuse my language but Hell no! Do not ever let someone make you think that you don’t have the right to help your child. Just because they don’t care doesn’t mean that the tree branch stops there. Do what ever you gotta do to get the issue resolved, there is always someone higher up that is more than willing to help you and your child immediately, not later but right now. The kids our future we need to get others informed so that bullying even the smallest amount can stop in our schools. My son is now an advocate for bullying speak up and he has his own page on Facebook for kids on bullying. He now understands that people can not treat you badly and it’s not OK, just because you want to be friends with the person. I am so proud of my boy and he looks out for others who may be in trouble. Please do not give up speak out, thank you for reading friends, until next time

Sincerely,

The sleepless Mommie

Sex! Doing The Nasty

I think we all can agree that at some point in time if you are a parent,  children can drive you insane. Especially when you have a million and one things to do in a days time. Juggling back and forth between work and kids can be extremely stressful to say the least. It always seems like when you are in the middle of doing something important they just happen to bust in on you and this can be very embarrassing. Yes folks I am talking about sex…. what happens after your kid walks in on you and your partner doing the nasty( as my kids call it).  Most parents are not even ready for the sex talk yet and even if they were old enough how in the world do you explain what just happened. Just as embarrassing as it is for your kid to see your butt/ or legs half up in the air, it’s just as embarrassing for them. Up until this point your kids have always imagined a big white stork coming to the door to drop of babies, they have no clue as to how they even came into existence. First thing is not to freak out because this can signal to the child that what you are doing is wrong and we don’t want to send those types of messages. Sex is a perfectly natural thing shared by someone special and just face it sooner or later they will be doing it too. A touchy subject for a parent because no parent really wants to accept the fact that their child could be capable of having sex.

When your kids are young like between the ages of one and seven its easy to just play it off. Oh, I caught mommy and daddy wrestling in the bed, the usual response a child would give at that age. If your child is older than eight years old chances are they have heard about sex from another kid. This day and age sex is more wide open than it used to be twenty years ago. Television is a great way to thank for your child being exposed to sex. Between suggestive commercials and music teaching your little girl how to drop it like it’s hot. It’s inevitable and they know more than you think they do. There are million of different books to read on it, articles, videos to watch. Honestly those things could get you started but those different types of information can not really prepare you for “your” child. That’s right! your kid is different, not every kid is the same so therefore not every kid thinks alike. So those materials can be building blocks to start the sex conversation. It’s still up to you to put your own spin on it because you know your kid better than any book/video/article can tell you. Just think back to when you were a child, when was the first time you came across the sex word. Where were you? who were you with? What was happening at the time? Just think about that and already know that your child, more than likely needs your advice. Most of us when we were younger never had the sex talk with our parents, and if we did it did not last long, and it did not make a bit of sense. Nothing like getting bad information to make you want to go out there in the world and try it out for yourself. A lot of parents don’t seem to understand that the best thing you could ever do for your child is give them the correct information.

Never ever leave your child with something to wonder, always be honest and never make up stories. The worse thing you could do as a parent is ignore or push aside the issue especially if your child is curious about sex and has questions please answer them and do it truthfully. Lying/Ignoring will only cause your child to go out and get pregnant at the age of twelve. People are always wondering why young girls go out and have sex at the age of ten, it’s because their parents never explained to them the facts about sex the truth the knit and gritty truth of it all. A truth that us, as parents are just going to have to face up too. Leaving a child to wonder about things can turn into a disastrous situation for you both. A situation you can avoided just by being there for them.

I have been walked in on doing the nasty once and that’s all it took for there to be awkwardness between me and my oldest son. I am sure no boy wants to in vision their parents having sex together, let alone their mom/ or dad having sex with a man/ or woman other than their father/or mother. Lets face it not all of us are married and we do have relations with others if we are single. It can be awkward but if you just talk with them not right away but wait a day or two let things die down and sit down and ask, what do you know about the word sex. Listen to what they have to say. Ask if they have any questions, ask what have they always wanted to know about it. Chances are you can turn awkward situation into a positive one. Kids are full of questions some are more open to asking than others. Sometimes you just have to let them know you are just as nervous about the subject as they are. Emphasize that sex is not a bad thing it’s not a dirty word and that it is perfectly normal for everyone to have thoughts about it. Express the importance of protection and being safe from diseases. Be there for them not against them, children tend to rebel if they are always told not to do something. By that I don’t mean, go tell them to go out and have sex, wrong! Just let them know that when the time is right for them, when they are older to explore sex to do it because they feel ready, not because they are being pressured into it. Make sure that they understand that you are there for them no matter what and that they can always trust you with anything when it comes to talking about sex. Some kids don’t want to hear about it right at this moment. That’s okay just take baby steps with them, but always make sure that they know that you are more than ready to talk about sex with them. I guarantee when they are ready to talk about it they will come to you, instead of run away from you. I wish my mother and father had talked to me about sex when I was a teenager even before I became a teenager, would have been nice.

I felt so alone to the fact and got pressured into losing my virginity instead of making the choice for myself, I allowed another individual to make it for me. Once it’s gone, it’s over with. I felt dirty and wished that I had saved myself for the right person. I had no education about it and my mom’s way of talking about was just handing me a condom. I can’t really be mad at her for not talking to me about because she grew up in the era where nobody spoke about sex and it was taboo to do so. My father was really never there in my life and when I did see him, I was always afraid to ask him for fear that he would think I was a slut just by asking. Now that I have kids I am making sure that we have the talk. Not once but a couple of times, I want them to be able to not feel afraid or ashamed of the topic and when they get older, to be able to make the right choices for themselves. That’s all for today friends thanks for reading and before you go check out this video by: Jimmy Kimmel asking kids about boys & girls  it’s pretty funny the stuff kids come up with.

Sincerely,

The Sleepless Mommie                                :   Video for enjoyment down below lol :)   :

Thought's About An Ex

Was just in a weird state of mind this morning thinking about people from my past. How they affected me and they way the shaped me into the person I am today. Good and bad times a lot of my choices were based off immature actions. A lot had to do with me being so young. I see some of those "ex's" people I run into periodically and it's always awkward to say the least. Especially when most of my relationships ended on a bad note. Living in a small town you are bound to run into each other and I hate it. looking at each other not knowing what to say. Very strange situation lol I have managed the duck a weave technique. Every time I see someone that I do not want to see in public, I hurry up and scramble to another aisle so that way I'm not seen. I know very shallow of me, right? Well I just can not get caught up in awkward conversation again, it is just too much for me. Sometimes It is very rare but I get caught doing this "duck and weave act" and talk about embarrassing, most definitely so. This has happened to me twice and trying to play it off is so hilarious. Sometimes I think to myself that it would be awesome to be able to be an outsider and to watch someone do the the " duck and weave act". One of the two times I was caught my face turned red from trying to explain what exactly it was that I was doing. It's kind of  like a two word conversation and then turn around and walk away lol. Alot of people probably think i am nuts for doing it but I know I can not be the only one. A lot of my ex's are not in my life for a reason and some are. The ones that are stay at a mutual distance which is fine with me. It's not like I am a total b*tch I do try to be friendly, just not to everyone.

I hate gossip but some people that I know love it and being in this small town they love to spread it. I'm always hearing about ex's through gossip, I'd rather not hear it, so I always change the subject. These clucky hens just can not let it go and have to tell something. As irritating as it is I just walk away from the convo. I am sure that a lot of people spread nasty rumors about me and really I could care less cause I know who I am. I really don't seek the approval of others, when it comes to ex's though people never say anything positive about them. Isn't funny to think that at one point in time the person that talks so negative about the ex was so much in love with him/her and now they hate them. I have my fair share of negatives when it comes to ex's but I'd rather focus on the positives, because I believe in a little something called karma. Plus it's in the past right? time to move on into the future. A lot of these small town clunky hens just love staying in the past. Drives me nuts, so not only am I ducking and weaving ex's, but not I am ducking and weaving gossiping hens.

I am not saying be best friends with an ex, but I would not want to be a gossip whore about it. Anyways drawing back into what my thoughts were about this morning. Sometimes I wonder what would I be doing now if I had stayed with a certain ex. Just thinking about would have things changed up for the better later on down the road. That's when reality slapped me in the face and I to tell my self to get out of that state of mind frame. I've been moving forward moving into the future. Sometimes it may not be the best situations but I make due. I'm just glad to have been taught a lot of life lessons that I know I will never repeat again. Some people always try to get back together with an ex, not me. To me if you didn't work out back then, your chances of working out know is a big fat no. Unless this is the movie The Notebook which it isn't I highly doubt it would work out for your benefit. So I don't try to live my life by a movie although it would be nice :)
Whelp that's all for me today see ya later.

Sincerely
@thesleeplessmommie.wordpress.com
The Sleepless Mommie